I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it, but I didn't, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn't realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it's the halves that halve you in half. I didn't know, don't know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me. (-Like crazy)

I thought that I understood it. But I didn't, not really.

Have you ever loved just for the beauty of it? Have you ever sunk your teeth into the apple? For the fruit's flavor Its sweetness and its zest Did you often get lost?.


Une pureté qui dérange.

j'etais de trop.

je me réveillai grâce a une lueur. Un cadeau. Cette lueur créait un dessin dans la chambre a coucher. Un message peut-être. Elle tentait a s’échapper de l'obscurité. Cette lueur manifestait un lieu de doute, pareil à mon état d'esprit confus, vaguement inquiet. Je me levai. Un jaillissement vers le ciel. Un affalement plutôt. 

i sold you my soul. I want to be adored

i'm walking around with my head down.

I'm a goddamn coward, but then again so are you

Miss you terribly already, miss the space between your eyelids,where I'd stare through awkward sentences and avoid through awkward silence. Miss your teeth when they chatter, when we smoked out in my garden when we couldn't sleep for all the heat, soft talk began to harden. Miss your small hands in the palm of mine. And I, I hope for your life you forget about mine.. you forget about mine. Miss your teeth dug in my shoulder, as we rolled in early morning. Miss your arm dying beneath me, as I lay there simply yawning. Please forget me, you were right dear, I am cold and self-involved, and though  I'll miss you, recent lover, I am weak and therefore fold. Get distracted by my music, think of nothing else but art. I'll write my loneliness in poems, if I can just think how to start. Dot my i's with eyebrow pencils, close my eyelids, hide my eyes, I'll be idle in my ideals, think of nothing else but I. I, and I. And I, I hope for your life. You can forget about mine. Just forget about mine.

Oh, mine.